So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
