We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
