We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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