You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
