peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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