He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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