Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
