the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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