You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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