youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
