I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
