To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
