....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
