Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
