THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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