Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
