Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And my parents said I crawled through the house
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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