You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
operation harelip BJ is a go
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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