If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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