I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
