I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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