We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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