Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
wow bdsm is so cute
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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