no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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