Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
