its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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