Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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