great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
