Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Are we still banned from the library?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
