If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
