Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
