I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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