Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
