It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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