I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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