He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
