i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
