There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
