I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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