are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
