even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
