Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize