its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So here I am, sexting at work.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
