Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
