There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
