she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
