that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
