also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
