I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
