Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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