So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
