Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
