just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
