He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
