I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
