I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
