He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
