i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
