I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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