Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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