Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
