apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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