someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
