Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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