This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize