Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it was like eating out sand paper
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
