but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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